Finally after an year almost i m posting on the blog..the last time i registered with this site :D....,Earlier i had notions about the blogs which made them pretty unpopular for me( no hurts please).... but then i realised its actually not blatantly crying out loud abt urself ...its abt enjoying...enjoying ur vague and wierd ideas abt anythign and everythign under the sun....enjoying ur knack with penning the stuff...enjoying the sorrows the pains the ecstatic moments and everything else circumspecting ur life(:D)......
five ( or fifty may be)yrs down the line( hope the google guys preserve this stuff so long) when i will luk back and try to ponder whether my life made any sense or not till now ... prolly these things will give me a better perspective then....
Anyways, The image is definitely not about the complexity of the work which i try(not) to do , Look closely.....there is a "friend-request denial in YM!" name has been deliberately bloated for obvious reasons and to save me from the leg pulling which will follow anyway i guess....
Scene 1 -> 9th standard,1996...
a Boy,Senior school,Full-Pant,a hint of mustache,first bench(studious huh??) Intro session.
"My Name is *****" she said.... i turned back to see her....a pause... a long pause as if the second itself has split into millions of parts and in each part i was revelling with ecstacy...... i still remember i was shaking i dont know y but there i was shivering with fear?? or joy??..... i remember her confident ,straight( i mean she was standing straight :D)..I also remember what did she say after that.... This was new ...girls has never been so unaware to me... especailly being a boy who played boro-plus, under over ( i cant xplain ) all his life till 8th standard with the opposite gender....
Then again "My name is ******* " the one sitting next to her.....:)....
Ok..... I liked both of them equally .... :D....
But then i was so novice to this territory.... how can i clearly decide that yes this is the girl i love ... this is the girl i like.... and this is the girl i like as a friend.... and this girl is a gud friend... and i like this girl but no she isnt a friend.... this is the girl i m goin to marry and i dnt like her or either love her neither is she my friend.....hufff... there r umpteen of such combinations believe me....
Anyways with the help of my F friend Prakash we came to the consensus that the girl with more number of * likes me and i like the lesser * one... This was beacuse the lesser * girl tried to talk to me first... thats when i started believing that First come first serve holds more importance in life than the Big Bang Theory.
The place where talking to girls was either studdish or too girslish for some. She came and talked to me herself...I started looking at people,my eyes shouting out loud.."Yes its me the stud next door :D".... I was proud i was happy i was confident.
she wished me congrats four times( i was getting some award but thats not the point)she wished me 4 times....can u beleive it....4 times.....GOSH i still feel happy writing about it....
SO finally my long sessions,speard across 7 months, of trying to luk at her incessantly for a duration longer than 2 secs finally paid off ...i m sure i was more happy because she talked to me than some stupid award for "best outgoing student EMMS6"(junior school).
She even came to my junior school to see me getting the award,she was from another junior school..... Ok people lets not get too optimistic here....may be her friend asked her to come so she came...or may be she wanted to see EMMS6 or may be she was free that evening and has nothing else to do and so she went to venture whats happening in the town and bammm!! EMMS 6 annual day fucntion ..lets attend it.......or mayyyyy be ( i like this part)she came to talk to me which she did....and she sure exchanged glances and smiles a lot that night....
I failed to luk at ne other reasons and finally decided ... this is it ...this is the girl i love..... Then started the real adventure.... i dnt know hw to get a girl.... i feared the legpulling and hence never told anyone about this in the school...
I tried many times but never mustered enough courage even to talk to her....
so that was it entire ninth standard i talked to her precisely 6 times.... 4 times congrats... and 2 times in school.... out of which 1 in which she said gud bye.... i mean "only" gud bye....:D...
scene 2-> 10th standard 1997....
Same Boy,still first bencher,mustaches grown into a more bushy stature,deeply drowning in love.
I joined the tution classes to which she used to go... studied hard to make it to her batch. followed her after the tutions... those were happy bicycle days.... girls dont know that no matter hw hard they try we can always catch them.
There i was everyday after the tutions i used to follow her... i think she knows... and if by any chance she is reading this she will know.....
though that involved cycling few xtra miles....but i liked that...every day trying to luk ur best b4 coming to tutions.... i spent almost half an hr before mirror everyday b4 the tutions... just for those few glimpses and glances.... everythign was so cool....
but still i did not talk to her.... U want signals i m giving signals...... nothing happened...may be she was in vengeance mood.... as if saying "Where were u last year??? i m a girl i did all that and u never reacted and now u want me to come back ...what right do u have???"
She was right....Anyways i started forgetting her... i started falling in love with many other girls and tried to talk to many....succeeded more often than not...but still did not talk to her... i remember her look steady with "Anger" in return of my smile my last smile for her....that was the last time i saw her then i changed my school...not because of that look ofcourse......
scene 3->2006
same boy, sitting in front of a PC, mustache and beard shaved about month back,obviously not in love.
Now i know that mistakes shud be rectified as soon as possible. not after 8 long years...when theres a finite chance that she might know the name of person living in the room next to kitchen of the fifth flat on the left in the right wing of the skyscraper which can be reached by taking about 200 mts right from the subway emerging from railway station towards hopital,but not yours.
So i tried to make a fresh start....digged out her yahoo id and send her a friend request.... as was expected she denied the request....
i know she is not mad at me... as they say u need atleast something between u and the other person to emote the basic expressions of life like anger, care, love etc towards each other.......may be we had something,but now we dont.
I dont want to end this on a sad note, i fell in love with many girls after her.. lekin woh kehte hain na "pehla pyaar"....koi nahi bhool saktaa....:)......